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Who Do I Have To Become?
NATE BAILEY | TEDx HORACEPARK
In 2005-2006 I was deployed to Kuwait, a 1st Lt in the US Army. Charged with the responsibility and leadership of over 40 men for over 15 months thousands of miles from home.
I came back home to my wife and our dog after a successful deployment and what I thought of myself as a Championship Leader. Not exuding the qualities or characteristics of a Championship Leader at all as I tried to assimilate back into my marriage and career back home as a civilian.
I was entitled and selfish. I didn't think I needed to reconnect with my wife after being gone for 15 months. I was too busy making up for lost time being gone. Partying and drinking too much alcohol, and jumping fully back into building my Insurance business that I had put on hold during deployment.
Not long after being home in early 2008 the birth of our first daughter Nina only drove a bigger wedge between my wife and I, as we couldn't agree on how to parent and I still was acting like a grown up child, drinking too much, getting my second DUI 6 months after Nina was born, quickly getting out of shape and overweight, coaching football at the local community college while also attempting to operate my businesses. Avoiding my wife and child at the time because I had no idea how to deal with the circumstances that I had created with my family.
Eventually, I began to realize that if I continued down this path there would really be only one end result - divorce, failed business, to be followed most likely not far behind by a heart attack or worse yet death.
It was not what I had ever envisioned as a young man what I wanted for my life. Quite the opposite actually. I knew I had to do something, and that something led me to investing well over 6 figures on my personal development in coaches and coaching programs to go to work on myself and my life to be the husband and father that my wife and children deserved, to get focused and committed to my businesses in order to provide financially for my family like I was capable of and to once and for all take back my health and fitness so that I could be around to play with my grandkids someday in the future.
I removed the things that were not working for me in my life. Unhealthy eating, stretched too thin in business (sold the crossfit gym) went all in on my insurance business, went to multiple marriage retreats (never saw that coming), became extremely present and engaged with my kids, even got baptized on my 40th birthday in a lake.
Essentially I began to lead myself and my family first, and had the epiphany that through the many different coaches that impacted my life and helped me to create the life I always wanted, that that is exactly what I wanted to do for other people that were in similar situations in their lives to me just a few years prior.
You see our path that we are on doesn't always make sense to us while we are on it, but as I began to be a Championship Leader for myself and my family I started to look back and realize that all the experiences and positions and careers that I had all were preparing me to do what I do today. In 2018 I sold my successful Insurance Brokerage to be a full time Business and Leadership Coach. I realized that from a very early age I was meant to be a leader and to guide others in their lives to be Championship Leaders as well.
From being the captain of my high school football, basketball, and baseball teams and even being voted Homecoming King to playing college football, enlisting in the Army and ultimately deciding to go through Officer Candidate School to become a commissioned officer. Coaching HS and College athletics, with a BS in Physical Education, running multiple successful businesses and being a leader in my industry associations. Everywhere I went on my path in life, even though it was not always pretty, I always gravitated towards, leading, coaching and impacting others.
Today it is of utmost importance that I live what I teach and preach to others at the highest level. That I set and be the standard that others strive for in all areas of my life. I've done that first and foremost through extreme performance in my body.
Over the past few years, as a man in his early 40's, I've completed Sealfit Kokoro (52+ hour event lead by Navy SEALs), run three 50k's, a few 100k's, and 100 miles, lost over 55 pounds(just to name a few). All while being a successful entrepreneur inside three different businesses, and maintaining an amazing connected marriage (not void of many bumps along the way) of over 18 years and a Father of 3 very busy, active children, all under the age of 12. I did all this without sacrificing any one area of my life in the process and pursuit of the things I truly want. I know that time, or lack thereof, if it isn't the biggest factor keeping us from doing all the great things in life we want, it's ranked right up there near the top.